Away for Far Too Long

It's been 2 months since I've been here in Melbourne. And being here away from my friends and family, I've missed them. But nothing kills me more than being away from my little brother, Ken. Isn't he cute? He's a ball of joy. Although he's only half related to me, I still feel as if he's full blood related to me. I have 2 other half brothers here, Ryan and Kyle, I love them. It's good to have gotten to know them and they're thrilled to know that they have 2 older sisters. But Ken, my love for him is much stronger. This being because I grew up with him. I've watched him grow since birth.  My only regret was that I was never there for him. I put my (at the time, boyfriend) before my family. I regret that I never got to watch him grow more. I was selfish and never thought of him when I decided to move out. And now, I miss him like crazy. He's turning 8 this year and I wish I was with him everyday.  Oh gosh, I miss him so much. Brings me to tears that it's going to be a back and forth trip to just see him. I only fear that in the future, I might be too busy to visit. I think of him everyday and wish that I could hear is voice and see him just chilling with me in my room. Get to see his silly facials and hear him complain or even tell me stories from school. I wish I had the money to see him this Easter holidays and I fear that I won't be able to make it for his 8th birthday. Brings tears to my eyes when I think of how far he is and how I was never there for him. And even if I want to be there for him now, I can only be there from so far away. I miss watching him grow, laugh, talk and just miss having him there. Ken, I'm so sorry that I was never there with you. I'm sorry for being a selfish sister and left you alone with mum when she needed me there with you. I love you baby brother. I have loved you since the day you came into this world. And there will be no reason for me to stop loving you. I miss you so much... I promise to be there for you when I can. And to those who have younger siblings, love them. Cherish them. Even when they can be a pain in the arse, you will never be able to see them someday. You never know when is the next time you get to see them when you're busy with your own lives. Take it from someone who never got to see him in months and finally saw one last time before leaving. I wish you well Ken and continue to be the ball of joy that you are for Andy (my step dad). I'll see you soon baby brother <3 Mum and Chi Ba (2nd eldest sister) love you and we all miss you. I love you little one xo