14th July 2017

In the winter of July, it was a sad day. Today was the funeral of Uncle Ti. 

I thought I have seen it all when I attended my first funeral last year in May. I thought by now that I could be strong today for my mum but as I walked into that empty room, seeing that single casket under the cross in the middle of the room with it half open and I knew by then, I needed to build the courage to see him one last time. 

As I sat and watched his family grieve, crying out how the cruel of life to take him away so soon, so suddenly, I couldn't stop looking at his photo that stood on the table. A smiling face. A face once full of warmth, colour and now, a paled, waxed, lifeless face lay in a tiny casket. 

It was an emotional day. The amount of people who waited at the church was inspiring. Seeing familiar faces and I thought, "what a small world". Through this one person, we were all connected. Childhood friends and even friends that I see at the clubs or went to school with. Uncle Ti, was a man, kind hearted and pure. His presence was calming and he was a funny and understanding person. Always so helpful, respectful and polite. As the photo slideshow along with videos played on the big screen, there was no stopping the tears that came rushing down my face and the painful lump that was in my throat. A man who was playful, who loved everything and everyone, who was gentle and wouldn't hurt a fly, didn't deserve to die so soon and so suddenly.  The day was beautiful, but the occasion was gloomy. No one had an appetite. Everyone forced a smile and gave support to one another with whatever strength they had. 

Uncle Ti, rest in peace. Please continue to watch over us. We all do miss you so very much. My mum acts brave but you and I both know that she's hurting inside. You're the only man who loved her more than anyone I ever known. Even my own father. Without you, she is lost. She saw happiness in you and her life was complete. Now without you, I'm not sure where she is, where her mind is, but for sure, her life is forever different without you. It's all surreal, and it's hard to adapt.  Some of us took you for granted, and I'm sorry because I was one of them. Visit my mum, when you can in her dreams. She needs you ...