DONE.

- No names will be mentioned - 

I honestly hate myself. Like I can be nothing more than disappointed in myself and the hatred I have for myself when I realized what a fool I've been for the past few days. But even though I know how foolish I am, how stupid I am, how much I know that I'm going to regret, I still manage to give it one more try. Still fucking manage to think about them. Think about all of us.

Yesterday, we were told that he was depressed. We wanted to just chill and we bought slushies. We chilled outside and he decided to join us and he was perfectly fine. Although it was written all over his face that he wasn't okay but we'd let it go cause we know he doesn't want to worry us, We all chilled but it was obvious that my lover and I were being left out on something. They told my lover to go home and they'll play Combat Arms together. Got home and he played for an hour or so. Few minutes later, they were all playing but it was a silent game. Didn't last very long. Friend texts my lover to keep asking him to play together with my lover because he was depressed. We were merely just people that they didn't want to be with.

So another friend knows exactly why this other friend was depressed. He tells me that he doesn't want to worry his friends, but there he was bothering all of us besides myself and my lover. He says he's feeling depressed so let's drink to our other friend. Other friend asks what's wrong. He says, "Nothing. Don't worry about it". HOW CAN PEOPLE JUST DO THAT ?! How can someone just tell another person that they're feeling depressed and when they've got the other person worried, they merely just say, "forget about it". I just can't handle this any more. I can't handle having to be the ones to try and try and we get nothing but, "now is not a good time". It seems as if every single fucking day is a never a good time. My lover and I are merely nothing but outsiders now. Tonight is Riverfire. I don't know how this all go, but I know that I'm going to just explode if something happens. If the same thing happens again, I think I'm going to just burst.

I'm not afraid to say what's on my mind when it comes down to telling how I feel. If they're going to simply use more excuses, then I am done. It's not like I want to break all ties with them but if that's going to be the case then whatever. I don't care if they can't escort me to my formal. I don't care if we've been family for the past year or so, I'm just done. If this is what it means to be family where some of us going to be left out, where our opinions don't matter, then I don't want any part of it. Just done.

Not going to be surprised if this happened.