I'm Scared

Sigh, I don't know what to do anymore. It's already hard for me to move on from the past. I've tried. I really have. There's nothing more I can give.
I had a break down just earlier. Turns out Henry hasn't completely changed. Somewhat still the same. Every morning, he'd get angry and take it out on me. He gets angry because he can't sleep in. His dad and his mum always wakes him up for the need of help. Every morning he never wakes up when he's suppose to. Yeah, he's tired but he drags the time on up until his dad actually yells at him. I understand his point of view. All he wants is Henry to help him and get things done and over with. Henry lost his job so now he has a second job with his dad. But every morning when he's angry at his parents raising his voice at him, I try and help out too. I try waking him up and but he'd just get mad. Soon, he'd just say that "today isn't a good day for me" He always says that. But the thing is, it's not the day. It's him. He never brings himself to wake up and I blame how he plays WOW. He plays until it's 4-4:30 in the morning and he doesn't fall asleep until 20 minutes later. He's been lazy nowadays.
When Lan or David wants to chill, he'd go for it. But when I want to chill with them too, he'd call it off and say he doesn't feel like chilling anymore. I haven't been out of his house in a long time now and all I want is a chill sesh with Lan or David. He just plays WOW constantly. Again, he's changed to his old self. Being angry and unfair.

Just now, I broke down crying because I was sick of myself just smiling and acting like nothing ever happened whenever he yells at me in the morning. I'm happy every morning because I get to see him in the mornings but it's not the same for him. Not once has he woken up and smiled because I was there. He'd wake up and play WOW. He's starting to hurt me again. Now instead of understanding, he would just walk out and leave me to cry. I'm sick of all this. He says that I'm clingy and I can't help it. He knows I can't help it but he will never, ever understand why. Truth is, I'm scared.

I'm scared that when I go back home, he'd forget all about me.
I'm scared that when I go back home, he'd cheat again.
I'm scared that when I go back home, he'd just play WOW
I'm scared that when I go back home, he'd bring another girl over.
I'm scared that when I go back home, he won't miss me.

I know he wouldn't because he sees me 24/7. I stick by him to prevent of getting hurt again.

I'm scared of that pain
I'm scared of the nights I'd cry myself to sleep
I'm scared of waking up each morning and having this heavy pressure on my chest
I'm scared of the depression feeling I'll be getting every single day
I'm scared of worrying and keep thinking about the good times, and the times we had together
I'm scared of getting them heart burns every now and then
I'm scared of getting hurt over and over again
I'm scared of not being able to get over the pain

I don't want to go through it all again... I'm scared and so heart broken every time the thought of Henry cheating. Like that isn't bad enough yet... It's unfair where I handle all the pain he could give me and I could forgive him so easily but when it comes to me making one mistake, he'd rage, he'd make himself the victim and he'd want to end things with me. Why is that when I can handle heart breaking pains and forgive so easily but he can't? Unfair isn't it? I put in the effort, I hold my head up and think "Everything will be okay" I'd cry and sleep it off. I crawl back to him and apologize for something I didn't do. For something I never intended to do. I'd hug myself and convince myself that it's my fault and he's been through so much pain so it's hard for him to forgive. But...it's obvious that I've been in so much more pain than he did... He did something that all girl could never forgive. He made me insecure, he made me think low of myself, he made me sensitive but look .... I'm still strong, because I tell myself every day that I am. I look forward to the future together with him but he seems to look at the past.... I don't want to see him. I'm going home and I just don't want to be by his side anymore. I don't want to get hurt and cry for something that is obviously not worth my tears.